i am a Dandelion. i am forever wild.

Khris, you dog! (You are lovely)

So, hi guys! I’m Jules. I’m a Canadian who grew up on Carolina soil and I miss it dearly. I study folklore.
My absolute favorite things are strawberries, otters, dandelions and sunshine.
My problem of the week is realizing I have no passion.

In terms of books, I just reread Sunshine by Robin McKinley, I’m currently on The Furies of Calderon by Jim Butcher, and the next one on the list is The Magicians by Lev Grossman.
My currently watching obsession is Lost Girl.
Listenings the last few weeks have focused on Of Monsters and Men (I have developed a thing for duets over the last few years), and Marina and the Diamonds.

Your turn! Tell me something about you?

I cannot stop listening to Of Monsters and Men. I really cannot. Especially Dirty Paws, King and Lionheart, Little Talks, Yellow Light.

Just so right me for these days.

I finally had the moment I’ve waited two years for, seeing him after all this time. As much as I dream about him, it was the first one I’ve had like that, of the first encounter. It was partly me showing up and partly an accident. I was leaning against the door when he came back to the room I had stumbled onto, I didn’t want him to catch me snooping around a bit. But I couldn’t push against it forever. He walked in with a friend and for a moment I couldn’t lift my head. Some of it was nervousness, some of it was shame.
The kicker, though, is that as soon as I did look at him, I woke up. For no reason. There was no loud noise, I didn’t hit anything, my alarm wasn’t to go off for another 40 minutes. I just woke up. Finally having that moment, and it was taken away.
If only it had been real. Because it feels like I’ll be dreaming about seeing him again my whole life, whether I’m asleep or not.

I’m foolishly lucky, I really am. My birthday is now officially over and that feeling still lingers, despite a possibly sprained/broken foot. I had a really nice day too. I finally embraced the whole birthday thing and it mostly turned out wonderful, though I selfishly want two things more.
I wish he had said something, which I fear will always be there, every birthday I have. There was more than enough love from friends, family, facebook, and strangers, but I still felt that one lacking feeling. Selfish, foolish, stupid, pathetic, the list of adjectives could go on.
I also wish blowing out candles really could help my friends who have the weight of their lives pushing them down. I see them trying and trying so hard and I wish they could get a break. Just for the day, weekend,  week. It actually breaks my heart. I just wish there was a way to let them be happy. I really, truly do.
And now that I got that sappiness out of the way, I’m sending myself to dreamland.

Close my eyes, blow out the candles, make a wish.

Jules, you can do this.
You can, I promise.
You just have to try.
Don’t let yourself be foolish.
Just try, please?

All you need is focus. That’s all. Just cap everything else.
Just try.

I miss you

More than anything, I wish I was at Bat Cave right now.
I would cross the river (somehow, because each time it changes) and get knee deep in water.
I would climb the slanted rock and the trees and upscale the big rockface.
I would get up to my heart home, my most sacred place, and I would feel grounded. I would get my shit together. I would read and write in my journal and look down to the river and rocks and road and look across to the cliffs and look up to the sky. I would be up and away from the world for a spell.
After getting down, I would lay on sun-warmed stones.

I would fix everything I need to get out of my system.
I would let all these constrains fall away.
I would ground myself fully.

I would not feel trapped.

Holy mother of anything. I went to an advance showing of Mirror, Mirror and it just blew me away.
It was wicked good. Incredibly good. SO good.
It was perfect.
New favorite movie.
(And Snow White was never my favorite fairytale)

I loved the dwarves so much. And the clothes. And the characters. And the humor. And the animation at the beginning. And the sets…. and everything.
A prince I can actually like! How about that!

Srsly guys. I can’t recommend it enough.

Things that are about to destroy my life again:
I got a library card.
And re-downloaded Maple Story.
And Hunger Games at midnight tomorrow.
Goodbye good academic career. It’s been fun.

What a strange and unnerving day. Right off the bat, starting with unwanted dreams and an exam.
I will be quite happy in 10 minutes when the Ides of March will be over and I will be asleep.

Today, I’m fighting my demons and winning.
And it feels so good.